superbagel2008's Revelife

God's words and my confusion

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:53:10 GMT

Grace has been a constant, re-occuring theme over the past couple of days. My boyfriend gives me the book "What's so amazing about grace?"; my devotions are about grace and God's love; a random note about pride and grace on the front page of this site. I guess I just don't understand. I know God is speaking to me, and it is obviously something that needs attention. I can't understand why, though. It's not as if I am particularly ungraceful.. I mean yeah, I know that I'm not perfect, and there are many areas of grace in my life that I need to attend to. It just seems like there are so many other topics that God could speak to me about that need more urgent attention.

Whatever the case, I'm listening, and will attempt to follow and decipher the meaning for the re-occuring word...

Confused and distressed..

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:41:17 GMT

I was online yesterday, checking my facebook, and I saw a note someone had posted about an "end of the schoolyear survey". Well, I was curious about what it would ask, so I opened it up. At first glance it was just random questions.. what were your classes, who did you talk to in those classes... but the more I think about it, why can I answer that second question counting on one hand? In a class of 30 or so people, why do I withdraw myself to a select group of a few friends to talk to, basically ignoring everyone else in the room?
It's definitely a topic I'm going to be studying for awhile. My personality is not that outgoing, willing to engage in conversation with anyone at anytime, person. As much as I hate it, I'm constantly worried about what other people will think of me. This prevents me from just going up to someone and chatting. Why? The only one I need to worry about pleasing is God, and He already loves me.. so what's the problem? Okay, so not everyone can be that person.. there have to be some "shy" people in the world. Right? But why do I have to be one of the shy ones, when inside I'm crying out and wishing I wasn't, wishing I was the other person. Even though I should want to be myself, because that is what my friends love me for now.
I hate it though! I want to know everyone. I by no means push anyone away when they approach me and talk to me, but I've never had the ability to approach the other person. Why?

Feedback would be lovely.. :)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:03:02 GMT

Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Revelife... I'm not really sure where to begin, so if you have any ideas or suggestions (or just want to say hey), drop me a comment, and I will definitely reply.